Buy U A Drank-T-Pain
I'm probably an idiot, but I don't like to think so.
Every time a doctor touches a spot on her back she has to say that it hurts.
So she goes “right there” over and over x3647 and when it gets painful she’s like “OHMYGODRIGHTTHERE RIGHT THERE”
And if I wasn’t in the room witnessing this, I would be laughing.
But it’s actually sad:(
Days of belly shirts are slowly dwindling down. Embracing them.
"You said for better or for worse. You said that. You said it. It was a promise. Now, this is my worst, okay? This is my worst. But I’m gonna get better."
Blue valentine (2010) dir. Derek Cianfrance
So Saturday I was so fucking drunk…the kind of drunk you don’t remember what happened the next day. Went to Applebee’s to watch the tigers game, jerry started buying me beers, everyone left and I stuck around, got drunk to the point I told him I think he ruined my childhood because all the shit he did to my mom, me, how Rosie was the golden child, how I’m wary of relationships.
So, I had to call my mom to pick me up, then I was dropped off at a bar, (in between making plans with people like “come over later! I’m drunk! But I’m goin to the bar!!!) then apparently I called my mom every 5 minutes telling her she needs to pick me up, came home, laid down in my bed, puked, got in the shower and talked some bullshit with Julia while doing so, fell asleep naked and Julia asked me if I wanted to put some clothes on and I shouted “Julia, shhhhh! Soda is sleeping. He needs his rest.”
This is why I never get drunk.
I own boxers with aliens and spaceships on them and I don’t know why. 🌌